I'm blue...

Erect betwixt these pale facts, I eventually have to confess that:

je ne suis qu'une fille banale...

Despite my humble wishes, I turned out to be an ordinary person.There's no miracles in the world, I realize at last.

Am I just seeking after an untouchable dream in vain?

I'm always bothered and tempted by something ridiculous and naif in spite of my willingness to achieve my ambitious dream-the so-called dream. But it seems so difficult......

Abashed and ashamed, I'm quite disappointed at myself-I'm ordinary, neither intelligent, nor wise.

I've tried my best to stand out but what greeted me at last is those miserable marks.

I've never been so depressed all my life...all my life......

what a mess

a great depression

I've never found myself so humble today compared to my outstanding classmates.
who are all ambitious girls and with whom you should never adjust your status.
Well, I admit that I'm someone who easily get jealous and pretentious. I pretend to be calm even in case of concurrence but it doesn't do.
What's more, I cannot control myself when lost in my ideal world. not being a realist, I can only le laisser tomber.
How should I do????

Mes amis francais viendront!!

Je reverrai bientôt mes amis français, ce qui me fera beaucoup de plaisirs!!!
Demain j'aurais une réunion et ainsi je pourrai m'échapper au cours de français!C génial enfin bon!
Mais j'aurais cinq contrôles la semaine prochaine et je serais foutue!!
Alors je vais réfléchir à ce que je dois leur acheter en tant que cadeaux...

Rin

Rin, my love...
donc j'ai fait un dessin d'elle en memoire de ma petite fillette...

being a little blue...

Another day is passing away...

leaving the time flowing between my fingers,

hard to seize firmly

here with the storm growling

I bury my soul into the snow

impossible to purify

My sorrow here for you

my shelter collapsed all of a sudden

and I was bleeding here and there

nobody around me

and no consolations

In the solitude of eternity

I'm living in a desert...

Retour en Chine

I'm now in China!!!!!!!!!!
C'était un voyage magnifique!Il faisait très beau en Australie: j'essayerai de mettre quelque photos sur mon site ici afin de vous montrer comment ça s'est passé!
bon en bref c'était très marrant très marrant...

Quel bordel

I had a quarreling with my mom today.
I could never understand why she's so "exisgeante". She's not rigid nor strict but is always giving me a lot of pressure...
What did I do wrongly?
It was all because of my cousin who got a really high mark in her final-term exam. She was the 10th in her class while I the 4th. I was already upset with myself coz I ought to obtain the first place. During the dinner, mom spoke highly of her, beaucoup d'eloges, bien sur, then she began to criticize me-I didn't know why I was so moody recently but I burst into tears right away and shouted at her.
She glared at me but said nothing.
Was I wrong???
I was always in the first rang of class while my worst mark was the 6th in my studying career, which is to mean ten years. She does think it easy or not?She does see my efforts and my struggling and endeavoring against the difficulties?Can't she see how many first prizes I got during ten years?Must she be so different and so cruel?I confess that I'm not willing to study, for what I'm doing is not what I like.Despite my good marks, why would she be so severe?
I'm really tired,really tired.
J'en ai marre...